So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize