im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
