Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
