how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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