So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
