big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
