Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
