Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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