How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
