I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
