I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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