In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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