This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
This toilet bowl is my home.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
