What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize