At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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