Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
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so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize