So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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