okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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