so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
