I think i peed on brittanys purse
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
