Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
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Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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