I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize