I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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