so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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