dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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