Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
