Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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