SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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