What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
