woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
