No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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