did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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