Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
