you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
