farters have to be the big spoon...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize