He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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