wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
