I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
