I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need to sanitize my soul.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
