He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
