chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
