Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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