I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
