Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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