i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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