She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
