I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
