Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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