I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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