so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
