I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
