No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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