I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
